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Monday, November 30, 2009

What Steve Harvey Forgot to Say.

What Steve Harvey Forgot to Say
By Jay Thurman
Author/Speaker/Writing Consultant/Entrepreneur
Author of the book, "The Man-You-All (A Guide to Save Black Women Time, Money, and Energy)

Steve Harvey is a genius! He has created a branding empire. He is a multi-millionaire who rose from meager beginnings to take over the comedy world. Steve Harvey is a man who has always been a self starter and business man even from the very beginning. His accolades continue to increase even now as he successfully ventured into the world of being an author. His best-selling book titled "Act like a Lady-Think like a Man" has been critically acclaimed, not just by the African American community, but by all segments of society. When I was asked by CEO of CWR- Donell Edwards had I read the book I had to respond in kind by saying-no? I thought it would be a great opportunity to see what the fuss was about. Many ladies seem to ask me about how do I feel about Steve Harvey's book and I always say that," I welcome any opportunity for women to stop and discuss topics about not only men's points of view about relationships but their own." As a relationship guru I applaud an intelligent well thought out commentary about relationships.
Steve Harvey's Book is not the Bible for all women seeking answers about relationships with men. It is a perspective that a man who is aged and seasoned in the ways of women and the simple manipulation men perform on them talked about with fervor and passion.
However, the rules of engagement have been changed due to the myriad of options women now have. As style appears to change and technology appears to grow at a rapid rate consciousness about relationships have also changed. The key to having insight into the mind of a man is first having the insight into the mind of oneself, as a woman. I say this because for thousands of years women have laid back in the shadows wielding their sword of influence and power from the shadows. Now, women by the mere greatness have emerged and need a new way of dealing with the children (men) they expect to LOVE THEM. Steve Harvey has got some good points in reference to developing standards and developing a plan of attack. A lot of women "just go with the flow" and will not just admit that they do this because most of the time they don't know what they are doing with a man so, they just let him lead without any qualifiers. Expecting "a man to be a man" and do the things that a man is suppose to do is too broad and dangerous for women with their first encounter with a potential suitor. Decide what is good for you! Build a plan around you first and then the needs of outside entities second.
Steve Harvey has even got a good solid way to deter the riffraff that contaminate the intentions of a good woman.
Point: Find out if the price is too high.
Many men want the "free one" or "the hook-up" when it comes to dealing with women. Basically, men want to deal with as little as possible in pursuits of a woman's time, money and energy. Women usually don't let a man know what the price is because like all bad salesperson they are afraid of getting what they want, so they compromise lose focus and eventually lose the sale. But what Steve Harvey forgot to say was how important a plan is before you get into a situation. I commend him for trying to get the ladies to clean up their mess that they got themselves into, but what about a defensive and preemptive strike.

Plan to have a way to get home if the initial date or outing is going awry.
Plan to drive your own car, until you get to know him better, then keep driving.
Plan to have enough money to cover your half of the date.
Plan to take at least one self-defense course at your gym.
Plan to maximize your potential before and while in a relationship.
Plan to use your instincts instead of your heart.
Plan to overstand the workings of your own mind instead of a man's mind.
Plan to take classes at Home Improvement stores instead of looking for a man who has taken the class already.
Plan to redefine what a "man" means to you before a boy posing as a man walks up pretending again.

Stay Focused!

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