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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Dating Mr. Potential

In this special edition , I wanted to look at the people who go out and date for the sole purpose of potential. Everybody is out looking for something and the people who say that they are not are just lying. Now, depending on what that something is weighs exclusively on that individual. Some date for companionship, networking, friendship, sex etc. The list can be long or short depending on who you talk to. However, there is a very special group that date potential and not the individual. The individual becomes a prop in their relationship production, starring them.

The problem with dating potential is that people are usually a poor judge of potential and just do not do it right. Dating potential can often lead you to waste your time, money and energy. And anybody that has read my book knows that I am all about saving your time money and energy. Hoping someone will turn it around is an optimistic way of looking at it, but there is a deeper truth.

If your goal is to date people based off of there potential, be it earning potential, leadership potential and husband / wife potential, become a student of your craft and show other people how to do it properly. But for those who do not know when to leave a relationship because they are still chasing potential I say learn “when to say when”, if not for you, then for all the peoples lives that will affect by your act of indecision and fear. Stop holding that person "Emotionally Hostage" because you don't want to be alone!

The Art of Dating Potential has some key factors that most people need to be aware of in order to perform this operation successfully:

1. Know what you are looking for.

2. Access your prospect within the first encounter based off a three point criteria.

a) Need

b) Benefit

c) Measurable return (Time Limit)

3. Assets (Financial or Network Resources)

We hear all the time about how people married their spouse because they “saw the potential in them” and they where successful. What these people do not tell is that there was such a substantially important piece to there decision that was exposed that they were convinced that this person was the “ONE”. A piece of evidence that becomes the tipping point for their life changing decision-they utilized there intuition. Mr. or Ms. Potential could have just graduated for Harvard with a law degree or have just lost a multi-million dollar company or even someone that and incredible list of contacts and resources that that person did not know how to use until you came etc.

There are some people that abandoned ship just when that “POTENTIAL” broke through and they miss out on reaping the harvest of the many seeds that they planted in that individual over time. And there are the people who stay the course and receive all that are due to them. People that are “Potential Chasers” are controlled by ‘The Fear of Loss or The Hope of Gain”. Dating Potential without a plan usually leaves you with a desperate fear of loss and missing out on something that ultimately controls your decision making process. That kind of mind state can often leave people in limbo never learning how to anchor their core beliefs in being specific about what they want and how to articulate it, not necessarily to other people, but to themselves. Living outside of the fear of loosing out or gaining something is important so that they can begin to not become a slave to the “if I just….” When you live in that realm of dating potential and not dating the person it becomes a void that usually waste your time, money and energy.

Do not date potential without a plan of action. Dating potential is not for everyone and a warning label is attached so that you handle with respect. It can become the kind of thing that can affect your soul and throw you off your purpose. Many people say that they are dating potential but it just becomes another excuse to hold on out of the fear of not being alone. The security of the familiar can be addictive.

Face up to the real reason why you are dating and enjoy the experience. It is another wonderful journey in the human experience and you should learn from it as much as you can.

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